Have you ever broken off a relationship with a friend because it was unhealthy for your self-esteem? Were you proud of your decision or did you regret it?
She's still my friend, but we don't speak much anymore. I first met her in my last two years of school, as for some reason we actually hadn't met properly for the previous five years. As we now sat next to each other in numerous classes, we discovered how much we had in common (us being complete nutters) and it was great for the first couple of months. But her father died, very unexpectedly, and I feel this was the root to the entire problem.
Everyone went out of their way for her, especially me. When she started drinking more, and taking harder drugs, I followed but not quite as extreme. I felt so horrendously bad for her, and did try to protect her from her own self-destruction to the point where I would do a lot of her homework alongside my own. I couldn't help with the maths, as I was terrible
Her mother was also inconsolable for a long time, and her brother was only 14, so I would often go to their house with soup me and my step-mother prepared and helped them out after their other family members left (some lived in France, and the others mainly in Ireland). Her mother was so pleasant and lovely and caring, but all my friend did was treat her like shite, and seemed to blame her more than anyone.
Our other friends grew tired of her within six months, and the teachers began to lose their patience. Despite everything she left school, and then hounded her mother until she paid for her to go to private school. As she entered the new school, she took nothing seriously, bitched about people and incidents no one knew anything about and was generally contemptuous of all her old friends. Bar me, for the time being. She then began to take me with her everywhere she went, and hated me having a relationship
and a job
despite me not giving a flying fuck when she had her own
and when she would sometimes have sex with them in the same room as me
. I put up with it, thinking she'd adjust, and she did for a bit.
But the other problem I often had with her, was the explicit racism and homophobia. It came out of nowhere, and she just changed into some bitterly offensive wanker. Most of the time I wanted to smack her silly and I always told her not to be so rude and bigoted, as she seemed to forget all about my
sexuality and heritage. She would hold grudges and never, ever sought appeasement. She used to love being the Bitch and I never really knew why she enjoyed being so vehemently horrible. She was also extremely
conceited and would stare in front of the mirror and say shit like "I've got such nice legs" and pout and wear ridiculously low-cut tops. Now she wasn't ugly by any means, but neither was she rivaling Cameron Diaz or Miranda Kerr. Her arrogance was her worst fucking trait, and well there's quite a few of those.
It wasn't until the last summer that I actually exploded with anger. Admittedly, it was not the best reaction but this had been building for months. We were at the pub and when this girl she didn't like came in she started viciously shouting and making a complete scene of herself. She was so offensive, no one knew what to say. The couple of months before had been better, to the point where she'd been more in control and focused. She had got back in touch with a lot of people she had previously lost contact with and for a moment I thought everything would be fine.
But she just went ballistic, and moved towards the girl she hated and moved to punch her.The only person who intervened was me. And then in a moment of spite she started bringing up some very personal information about me. And to my surprise, other people started laying into her for what she said to me, and couldn't believe that after everything I did for her she would be so nasty.
Well, after we were all told to get out of the pub garden I left with a couple of other friends who she apologised to. She apologised to everyone, but never to me.
And since I have washed my hands of her and it's terrible because I know there's a nice girl behind all that shit. I don't regret helping her, as it's just the way I am. But the relationship was probably always destined for ruin and I let her use me. So I'm still in contact but I much prefer her out of my immediate life.